Saying Good-Bye to 2015!

Happy New Year's week! Be prepared for the best of 2015 every where! Even with all the busyness around us, take some quiet time to yourself to reflect. What happened this year that was great? What can you do to keep that up? What didn't you enjoy? What can you do differently this next year to make sure nothing brings you down? It is all in your attitude - focus on taking care of yourself and looking at the positive side. It will help, trust me!

This year started in a new relationship that was what I had been looking for - someone who had their own life, was supportive of mine, and didn't try to merge us into one right away.  It was wonderful! Unfortunately, it ended 8 months into the year.  Even though it was devastating, I learned I deserve A LOT and even if someone seems like they are everything I need, they may not be but at least I am shown that before too much time has passed.  The one God has for me is out there and I will meet him when it is time!  I'll be 35 this year and still have plenty of life left to share with someone.

A few months in the year, I got my DUI.  That was also devastating but I have grown so much for it and continue to grow.  I am now seeing a general counselor just to talk about life and look for ways for me to help increase my confidence so I can always be my true self no matter what.

I am excited to see what 2016 brings!  As long as there is joy (I will be an aunt for the fourth time!!!) and love, it will be great! 

"You will never regret what you do in life, you will only regret what you don't do." ~Wayne Dyer

Friendship

Ha ha!!!  So I called it, I am horrible at this daily post thing...I just have to make it habit.  I have done it with other things.  Just set aside some time each day to come on here and chat it up about the good things in life!

So, some things have happened since my last post which have taught me two things:

1. If you have a feeling about someone based on their previous behavior, you will be proved correct.  This happened with the "friend" I referred to previously where things changed in my life and I felt a lack of support from her.  She opted to go on Facebook and bash me about who I was and my past.  What is funny is the things she said where exactly what I had voiced to her that I was changing.  And it just goes to show that whatever we had wasn't a real friendship.  It saddened me...more for the fact that it cemented any concerns I had.  I really wish it would have ended differently or not at all but at least now I can move forward without a doubt in my mind whether opening up with my feelings was the right thing to do.

2. There are good people out there who will love and accept you for who you are!  You only life once so make sure to find these people in your life.  Don't get stuck with someone because you are shy when meeting new people or you don't want to hurt someone who has been there for you.  If they are a true friend, he or she will be happy for you to spread your wings and fly!  And the shyness thing - you are an awesome person and anyone would love to have you as a friend.  Just remember that!

"A best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway." ~Elbert Hubbard

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving yesterday and enjoyed their day!  Mine was wonderful, sharing it with a Christian family which was wonderful because I always enjoy a heart felt prayer on days such as these.  My friend and her daughters played several fun games that I had never played before and my friend's dad made us some delicious food.  It was a great day!  I didn't get on here yesterday to post so today I am just going to share my Facebook post from yesterday:

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Rejoice and give thanks!!! I am blessed to have so many good people and things in my life and I thank the Lord for everything good and bad that has happened this past year. Renewing my relationship with the Lord and myself, losing a second mom forever unexpectedly, finding love that I thought would last a lifetime only to find out it wasn't a mutual feeling, developing a wonderful friendship with a sister in Christ, losing a friend due to differences in life, continuing to develop my skills at work as a supervisor, concluding an educational journey by earning my MA, and getting into trouble that was a devastating experience but completely changed me and my life for the better. Enjoy your day and all life has brought to you because even the not so happy things develop you into a stronger and better individual if you let them. I love you all!!! Live, laugh, love

"It's not happy people who are thankful.  It is thankful people who are happy." -Unknown

True Friends

Friends.  We all have them.  Some close and some not so close.  Have you ever wondered what a true friend is and how to decide which of your friends are real?  I had to come to the realization not too long ago and it was emotional but also refreshing and I felt a sense of relief.  So I wanted to do a little research on the subject.

 According to http://www.allaboutgod.com/true-friendship.htm a true friendship is the following:
- Having a shared sense of caring concern.
-A desire to see one another grow, develop, and succeed in all aspects of life.
-Being there and doing things for each other without expectations in return.
-Ability to share thoughts and feelings without the fear of negative criticism or judgement.
-Encouraging and forgiving one another.
-Loving each other no matter what and always wanting the best.

The biggest thing to me is the support, encouragement, and love.  No matter what my friends want, feel, or believe, even if it is against my beliefs or could put distance between us, I want them to succeed and be happy in life.  If you ever feel that someone in your life is not wishing for your happiness and success no matter what it means for them, say something!  One of two things will happen: 1. your friend will talk with you, acknowledge your feelings constructively, and share his or her own feelings without accusation or hurt. 2. The complete opposite!  Whichever happens, you will know whether this person is a true friend or not and while there may be some hurt and sadness, the relief and freedom felt after will feel so nice.  Like I said, this recently happened to me and it seems my life has been happier and I have realized more of the good people in my life.

"In life, we never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are." -Unknown

Take Care of Yourself

Today was my last day in a treatment program for substance use.  I have never considered myself an addict with a problem but I made mistakes in my life due to drinking alcohol.  In April I was caught driving under the influence.  Believe me...it is NEVER worth it.  Wait for a cab or ask a sober friend to take you home.  While it was horrible (I'm 34 and it was my first and only arrest) and a position I would have never thought I would be in, it has been a huge blessing for me!  Due to my clean record I was eligible for a diversion program which will dismiss the charge after a year with some requirements.  Part of this was to participate in a 12 week treatment program.  When I first started, I wasn't sure what it was really going to do for me but here I am 12 weeks later and am the strongest I have ever been in my life.  I have always been afraid of confrontation for the fear of being alone so I let others lead and direct my life and actions even if they weren't really what I wanted to do.  This is not the right way to live life and here are the lessons I've learned:

1. It is better to be alone than with the wrong people whether friends or a romantic relationship.  Plus we are never really alone, God is always with us.
2. Stand up for yourself and the right people will respect that and stay in your life.  If they leave, they aren't good for you.
3. Take care of yourself.  Do something that makes you happy.  Exercise.  Attend church. Color. Read. Hike.  Whatever it is!
4. Clean out your life.  One of the hardest things I had to do was let go of a friend who had been there for me through several large emotional events in life but this doesn't make up for the ways I was treated in other situations and not being supported and respected for my decisions.

I could go on with more but they all revolve around the list above.  Just remember, there is only one of you in this life and there are people out there who love you for you, so take care of yourself -physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

"Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Mind. Body. Spirit. This is the beginning of self-care." ~Dena Patton

Keep a Smile on Your Face

I know this sounds cliche but smiling makes everything better...it really does!  Not only will it make you happy and feel good but it makes others feel good too.  As I look around at a store, work, or any other location with lots of people, there are always more frowns then smiles.  Is life really that bad?  I mean, you woke up this morning and have another beautiful day to life.  And yes, at times things happen in life that aren't the best but when you keep your focus on that, you miss all the good things!  Take time to reflect or mourn if needed but pick yourself up and move forward.  Negativity will follow negativity but positivity and goodness will follow positivity!  It has worked for me in my life - I have worked hard with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.  It hasn't been easy and things have not always worked out the way I wanted but overall, life is amazing!  So I challenge you to consciously think about keeping a smile on your face throughout your day, even if you are just staring at a computer screen or TV.  See how life changes after a day, and then a week, and then longer.  You won't regret it!

"Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences." ~Unknown

*Interesting side note, blogger is underlining positivity as if it is misspelled.  But I looked it up in the dictionary so it is a word...maybe blogger needs a little in its life!

Be Your Best Each and Every Day!

My ultimate goal in life is to become a motivational speaker for young women about believing in yourself and achieving what you want and deserve.  I started this by posting a positive and encouraging post every day on Facebook and have had amazing responses from friends!  So now I am taking it a step further (at the suggestion of my niece who isn't allowed a Facebook page for 2 more years) and starting a blog focused on inspiration and motivation!

Each day (hopefully) I will share a brief story or event from my life and how it impacted me along with a quote, saying, or something else to take with you for the rest of the day, week, year, or even your life!  So here we go...

You and you alone make the choices in your life.  There may be people or events which aid in your choice but ultimately whatever action is taken is your own.  Never forget this!  You are accountable for your own actions and no one is to blame for any results that occur due to your choices except for you.  I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just recognize you are in control of yourself.  How others react is on them and has nothing to do with you.  This is your life to live and I am a strong believer that you need to choose what is best for you regardless of what others think or what the majority is doing.  It has taken me a long time to come to terms with this because I often did what others were doing for the fear of not being liked and left all alone.  Do you know what I realized?  All this did was make people like the person they thought I was, not the person I really am.  Stand up for yourself and be the best person you can be without sacrificing your ethics and morals and the right people will come into your life and stay.

"Life is all about making choices.  Always do your best to make the right ones, and always do your best to learn from the wrong ones." ~Unknown